18.3: Consent Animation Video
Transcript:
Consent
Consent is an important concept for maintaining healthy relationships. Listening to what a person wants or does not want is a key in family relationships, dating relationships, and friendships. Consent is an agreement to a specific behavior. For consent to occur, both people involved must clearly say “yes.” This agreement must be direct, verbal, voluntary, and mutual.
For example, one person might ask, “Do you want to go to a movie?” The other person may say, “Absolutely!” and then ask, “Do you?” If the first person also says, “Yeah, let’s go!” then this is consent.
Consent is also an important concept with regards to sexual activity because any sexual activity without consent is sexual violence. Sexual intercourse without consent is called rape, but kissing, touching, exposure, harassment, and photography of a sexual nature without consent are also forms of sexual violence.
If only one person says “yes” to sexual activity and the other person does not, this is not consent.
In some situations, people are not capable of giving consent to sexual activity. Only someone who fully understands what he or she is agreeing to can give consent.
If one person is younger than the age of consent, which is 16 in most states, he or she cannot give consent.
If someone is asleep or unconscious, he or she cannot give consent. If someone is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he or she cannot give consent.
If one person has been pressured or coerced by someone else, this is not consent. If someone is continually asked to engage in sexual activity, they are being pressured. If someone is taunted or threatened into engaging in sexual activity, they are being coerced. For example, if one person groans “Come on, don’t be boring” to convince the other person to say “Okay” to engaging in sexual activity, this is an example of sexual violence, because this person’s decision to engage in sexual activity is not voluntary, and is therefore not consent.
Consent cannot be implied. If two people are in a romantic relationship, this does not automatically mean consent. Any sexual activity still requires direct, verbal consent. No one, not even a dating partner, has the right to assume the consent of another person.
Consent is temporary. Someone might say something like “I don’t feel like it today” or “I’m not in the mood” to indicate their lack of consent. Even if someone has consented to sexual activity many times in the past, or if someone consented ahead of time, if the person does not consent at the time of that particular sexual activity, this is not consent.
Consent is reversible. A person who gives consent can always say no later. If a person consents to sexual activity, but no longer wants to and says no, consent is no longer given. Saying “Wait, stop” or a simple “No” are signals that consent has been withdrawn. If someone withdraws consent and the other person does not stop the sexual activity, this is now sexual violence.
Remember, consent is a direct, verbal, voluntary, mutual agreement. Both people must be older than the age of consent, conscious, sober, and not pressured or coerced. Consent is needed for each individual event of sexual activity. Only each individual person can make the decision to consent to sexual activity on his or her own behalf. No one else can make that decision for them.
Let’s review! Consent occurs when both people involved voluntarily, verbally, mutually, and directly say “Yes” to a specific activity, including any sexual activity.
When a person directly says no, is younger than the age of consent, is not conscious, is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, has been pressured or coerced, has not expressly given consent for that particular event of sexual activity, or has changed their decision, this is not consent.
To respect people’s values, their decisions, and their bodies, never engage in sexual activity without consent.